Episode 4

Hello, dear readers!

Just a quick note about contacting me. I've been getting a lot of emails asking questions about the show and my opinion on show-related details. Those comments are really better suited to the comments section here as I already set aside time every week to chime in. Emails like that get a bit lost in the email mountain and I'm afraid can end up languishing there, unanswered. I do want to answer your questions and share those opinions, so if your comment is Bachelor-related, in the future please share it here instead of emailing me! 

As for outfit ID requests, do email those. I usually flag them immediately and refer back to them in my weekly hunt, so to have them all in one place is great.

Thank you so much!



“It’s so nice for someone to see something in you that maybe you don’t always see in yourself.”





The episode opens with a Girl Chat of the women discussing how uncomfortable it is to watch their friends leave one by one. And here we see where Krystal's "They're living in a false reality" from last week actually came from...


So really, the "false reality" really applies to the women being sad to see other women leave, not the context it was used in last week, which was regarding their individual relationships with Arie. No matter how you slice it, it's not a tremendously kind thing to say, but it definitely isn't as scathing as it was painted to be last week.




We discover Seinne's 1-on-1 activity via the other women who conveniently happen to spy them with binoculars given to them just to take in the scenery, I'm sure. This was really messily edited...


Note how Lauren B and Becca K each move locations suddenly, and how the shot with Chelsea is clearly taken from a different moment (all the other women are gone). With Chelsea, it didn't even look like they were trying to hide it, but the reason I kept it in the above .GIF was Caroline's hilarious, bone dry (and sans-binoculars), "Look, they're making out." Her ongoing meta-feeling commentary is really that of someone who fully sees the humor in being on The Bachelor in the first place.

On her 1-on-1, you can tell by her laugh that Seinne was just prompted with a textbook Bachelor producer question, asking if she's in love/falling in love/feeling feelings of love...


She deftly sidesteps using the L-word, but note how her response actually gives so much more weight and meaning to her feelings for Arie rather than if she'd just caved and said she was falling in love already.

Back at their Tahoe digs, that door knock continues to terrify...


As Becca K concludes reading the Group Date names (giving away that Bekah M got the 1-on-1), note how she magically appears next to Krystal in time for shots of Krystal looking less than enthused...


Also note the body language between Becca K and Krystal not only here but in the binocular .GIF above. They're clearly friends, though Krystal's edit would have us believe she has none.

At the dinner portion of Seinne's date, she eloquently expresses why she's cautious about love given her parents' relationship and how she hasn't seen a lot of fairytale romances involving women who look like her. Note how her words are a continuous stream yet it involves two ITMs...


Literally, the only words we see out of her mouth with the first ITM are, "you know, I'm a black female". I do believe her sentiment was the same regardless, but it definitely goes to show how snippets can be rearranged to support whatever narrative.

When reaching for Seinne's rose, note not only Arie's wine glass fill differences, but also their laughing faces, suggesting the rose reach is for show. It's safe to say there were at LEAST two takes of this, though I'd wager way more given their goofy faces (especially considering their serious faces during the real take)...

 Thanks for the spot,  @Bachtastic !

Thanks for the spot, @Bachtastic!



I found this Group Date downright hilarious. A subtle but favorite moment of mine was when the survival instructor was going on about the wilderness and how to survive it. When he finally (and tenuously) tied it back to their "journey for love", I laughed out loud at Becca K's response...


Another laugh out loud moment was Brittany's frustration during the map and compass portion of their date...


More hilarity ensued as Caroline rightfully poked fun at Arie putting his arm around Krystal in the hot tub... (Also note two things here: 1- how Lauren B appears and disappears... there is no question this went on for far longer than was shown, and 2- where Krystal says it's "so juvenile", she's fully bundled up from earlier, evidently talking about something or someone else.)


I've gotta say, I LOVE that Caroline did this, especially in such a tongue-in-cheek but direct way. The harem-like structure of this show is awkward enough without the lead showing an obvious preference for one women in the presence of the others. Krystal argued that Caroline and Tia made Arie uncomfortable, but just imagine how uncomfortable THEY felt sitting right across from him with his arm around someone else. This was bad form on Arie's part, and the other women were right to call it out.

It would be impossible to consider myself a recapper if I didn't analyze Krystal saying the following...


I'm actually embarrassed to admit how many times I watched this, trying to find a way to justify Krystal saying this in a way that proves it's out of context or not meant the way it sounded. But unfortunately, you really do see "... whatever I do I have a feeling it's going to be perfect" come out of her mouth, followed by a self-satisfied grin. Not a good look.



I was really anticipating this 1-on-1 and it did not disappoint. Three major things stuck out to me here. Last week I mentioned how endearingly dorky Arie is, and this following statement really supported that for me...


I LOVE the ability to admit that you've become a bit boring, but how it's not for a lack of opportunity to be cool, but rather that your interests and pace have changed. As a woman in her 30s, I can SERIOUSLY relate to this. It also ties into something about Arie I've been meaning to discuss for awhile, and that is that I think it's a GREAT thing that he was a frontrunner from 5 years ago. Think about how many final couples don't work out partially because of the overnight fame, attention, and opportunities that accompany being on this show. Especially with men who are frontrunners (aka who get airtime), a lot of them get a post-show playboy reputation, much due to the fact that the viewership for this show is about 95% female. I have no judgment regarding this, but I do think it can alter a guy's interest or true readiness to settle down when he suddenly has a buffet of options open to him that he'd never had before. Thus, it makes total sense that Arie, 5 years after he became a household name, might actually be ready to settle down now, versus a guy who is at his peak fame and for whom so much female attention (and the novelty of so much female attention) hasn't yet worn off.

The second thing that stood out was Arie's strong reaction to Bekah M's age. I couldn't be bothered to make a .GIF of it, but it was suitably surprised and distraught, particularly when he covered his mouth with an "Oh my god." Like, you could see some men being really into her youth (hell, he has probably been that guy before), but you really got the sense that he was NOT stoked about it here, given his seriousness about this process working out for him.

Lastly, we caught a glimpse of Bekah M's youth (and I say a glimpse because really, she is SO mature seeming and just doesn't behave how I imagine a 22-year old to behave) with the following exchange...


This is the ONLY time her being so young has really shown, in my opinion. To see his hypothetical emotional investment in her and ending up heartbroken (especially within this incredible once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for him) as something that could be seen as somehow worth it... To me this the perspective of someone who has the interest and time to choose the wrong paths for the sake of experience. I loved Arie's response here, which wasn't something along the ambiguous lines of, "No, because I want this to work out for me", but rather that he wants a WIFE. Not a fiancé, not a girlfriend, and not some ambiguous happy ending. It really pinpointed what the issue is here: These two could absolutely have a great love, but is she—this dynamic, charismatic, obviously intelligent 22-year old—really ready, or even interested, to settle down and become a wife? And I say this as someone who wouldn't wish settling down and prematurely getting married (emphasis on "prematurely"—don't bite my head off if you got married around this age and it worked out great for you) on my worst 22-year old enemy, simply because the thought of stunting someone's room for adventure, curiosity, and experience is pretty much the worst thing I can imagine in this world.



At the Rose Ceremony non-Cocktail Party, we catch a sneak peek of that conflict between Bekah M and Krystal that we've seen teased in the season previews. We really haven't seen much between the two of them so far, but note Bekah M's outfit difference in the ITM used as a voiceover here...


We haven't seen that look on her yet, so it's most likely from an ITM in the future. Yet another example of how words can be taken from anywhere in the timeline and inserted wherever is needed to support a certain narrative.

Finally, it's the women's body language that sums up what was so wrong about Krystal stealing Arie away when the Rose Ceremony was about to begin...

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I've touched on this before, but it's really the disrespect towards her peers/housemates/friends more so than whatever she's telling Arie that is the issue here. Think about all the waiting that occurred to even find out there would be no Cocktail Party. I've said before that the most trying part of The Bachelor experience BY FAR is all the waiting. The above moment undoubtedly took a minimum of half an hour, where the women had to wait even more, in their heels and with nowhere real to sit. I would be annoyed, too.


I can't close this recap with a moment of gratitude for Brittany and Caroline, who were easily two of the funniest women this season. You shall be missed, ladies!

As always, my Top 4 frontrunners are listed over at Flare.




Most of this week's requests were already on my Best Dressed list, so if you put in a request, you can find it below!

Sarah and Kelly both asked about Seinne's Rose Ceremony dress...


Seinne's dress is the "Willow" by Reformation but it's sold out (HERE). The best look-for-less I could find is sadly also sold out (HERE) but it's worth adding your name to the waitlist. The next best looks-for-less I could find (which are actually available!) sell HERE and HERE.


Best Dressed

Several little honorable mentions this week! First, Ashley's bracelet during the "We've arrived in Tahoe" toast caught my eye...


It's elegant yet makes a statement. I want. Ashley's screw cuff is by Miansai and sells HERE (and there's a fantastic look-for-less HERE).

I loved Caroline's royal blue one-piece from the Group Date...


I love how mildly Baywatch this is but with a twist, with those skinny straps, that low back, and the fantastic color. And plus I just love one-pieces. Caroline's swimsuit is the "Booty on the Beach, Season 2" in Royal Blue by Booty by Brabants and it sells (on sale!) HERE.

Caroline's fuzzy cream sweater also stood out to me...


Caroline is the queen of cozy yet somehow sexy sweaters. I pretty much just want to steal of sweater collection. Caroline's sweater is by Vici collection but since it's no longer available online, there's a similar option HERE.

I liked Seinne's denim jacket from when they were exploring their Tahoe home...


This oversized silhouette feels both like a vintage piece and like a fun, updated take on the traditional, shrunken-feeling jean jacket and I for one am all for it. Seinne's Forever 21 jacket is sadly sold out, but there's a similar one still available HERE.

Finally, Lauren B's studded leather jacket from the same moment...


Again, a subtle twist on something traditional. The studs give a bit of edge but the jacket still feels ladylike. Lauren B's jacket is from Lulus but is sadly sold out (HERE), but there's a great alternative selling (on sale!) HERE, and a look-for-less option HERE.

I have two second runners-up! First is Kendall with her cut out knit dress from the evening portion of the Group Date...


What I liked about this look is that it felt both weather and occasion appropriate. It's all too easy to dress too down when it gets chilly, but this felt like the right amount of effort was being made while still remaining practical. Her earrings were also especially nice. Unfortunately, these two pieces were very frustrating to hunt down. Kendall's dress is by Miley & Molly but I couldn't find it anywhere. (There's a similar one HERE, and if you like going as backless as I do, there's a great one HERE.) She bought her earrings from a local artist, making them downright impossible to find online. The most similar ones I was able to find are HERE and HERE.

My other second runner-up is Marikh with her Rose Ceremony dress...


This stood out to me as the epitome of understated elegance. I can see some women looking unremarkable in this but Marikh is so stunning, she manages to command attention in something so simple. Marikh's BCBG "Snejana" dress is sadly older and no longer available, but my personal favorite alternative is HERE. (There's also a similar option in a midi length—and a look-for-less—selling HERE.)

Two first runners-up as well! First up is Seinne with her 1-on-1 "dinner" dress...


I love how unabashedly feminine this dress is, especially in the baby pink and with that bow. It fit her like a gift-wrapped glove. Seinne's Nookie "Miami" dress sells in her blush color HERE, and also comes in black and taupe (on sale), both HERE.

My other runner-up is Tia with her Group Date sweater...


Gosh, I just love this sweater. It's nude, off-the-shoulder, and even manages to have a slightly open back. The color really worked on Tia and she looked lovely yet effortless in it (though I do think had her hair been back the neckline would've been more impactful). Tia's Saylor "Skyla" sweater currently sells HERE (and on sale in cream HERE). There's a good look-for-less selling HERE.

This week's Best Dressed is Ashley with her Group Date ensemble...


We hardly saw this look but it was easily the coolest, edgiest ensemble of the week. I LOVE the mix of black textures with the pop factor of that taupe bralette, both in terms of the skin shown and the finish of the material. You guys know by now that I love it when fashion risks are taken on this show (leave the basic looks at home for when you're NOT on national television!), and this was a not only a risk but a successful one. Ashley's top is from the "Whitley" set by By The Way and is currently available (and on sale!) HERE. Her pants are by Topshop but since they're sold out, there's a similar pair (and look-for-less) selling HERE. Her Schutz sandals are sold out, but there's a similar version (and look-for-less) HERE. (In my search I found these red Schutz booties, which I would absolutely buy if they had my size, HERE.)


Worst Dressed

No Worst Dressed this week! 👏🏼👏🏼


Thanks for stopping by, fellow pandas!