Episode 4

“If I had a tail, I’d wag it.”

Jed. I’ve since adopted this and so should you. :)


JED’S 1-ON-1

Episode 4 supposedly brings us to Newport, RI, except the first destination date takes place in Boston. (If I were Newport, I’d be pissed.) Hannah and Jed traipse around Boston, managing to squeeze in a hella awkward Halo Top plug, despite the fact that it so doesn’t appear to be ice-cream-in-the-park weather and they're bundled in jackets.

In the evening, when discussing their favorite moments of the day, as a former contestant myself, Jed’s stood out to me big time…


This is something I failed to truly understand before I went on the show and it’s something I catch myself forgetting here and there now that years have passed, but the above serves as a reminder of just how omnipresent (and violating) the cameras can be, particularly for shyer personalities. There was never a second with cameras on me where I didn’t struggle with it, and it would seem Jed might feel similarly. The privacy of just a few seconds in a photo booth would stand out as something memorable, just as I still remember certain moments on my season when we were fleetingly alone and how electric those felt. I also appreciate that this even made an impression on Jed, enough for it to be his favorite moment of the day—a day likely filled with more obviously memorable and extravagant activities.

Jed continues to climb to the top of my favorites pile when he takes a HUGE risk in revealing…


Now, I happen to think it’s a win-win to have revealed this. Not only does it nip in the bud what people were probably going to say about him anyway (hell, I certainly did), but it also majorly legitimizes his feelings for Hannah (it’s hard to imagine him revealing this if he were faking it). But still, what makes the above a risk is that he’s essentially admitting he came on the show for the dreaded Wrong Reasons. Even a fleeting thought of wanting exposure has traditionally been regarded as downright criminal. But OF COURSE he thought it, just as it was for every other guy there did, whether or not he has the type of career that can so obviously benefit from exposure the way Jed’s can. Everyone thinks it, but Jed had the balls to come out and admit it.

The only thing I appreciated as much as this was how well Hannah dealt with it. I hate it when people claim to want honesty or transparency but then can’t handle it. Hannah, after emphasizing week after week that she wanted nothing more than the guys to be "real”, was true to her words. She was understanding of Jed’s initial thought and truly respected the fact that he told her, giving him the date’s rose.

I think the above particularly stood out to me quite a bit because it reminded me of my season, when at the dinner of my first 1-on-1 (which was also the first 1-on-1 of Episode 4, by the way), I admitted to Juan Pablo that I hadn’t been and wasn’t really kid-focused. I admitted that I had dated someone with a daughter before (someone whose daughter was the exact age as Juan Pablo’s daughter) and that I had struggled with it. (In case you’re wondering: Yes, I had told a producer this, and yes, that producer had encouraged me to tell Juan Pablo this on that very date.) When JP still gave me the rose, Twitter blew up with people criticizing him for doing so. But what he appreciated above all else was my honesty, even if the words weren’t flattering or were not what I’d imagine he’d want to hear. To this day I’ll never forget it. I knew in telling him what I told him there was a good chance I’d go home, so the fact that he valued what I valued in what I was telling him made a huge impression on me (and, coincidentally, went a long way in making me like him that much more).

Finally, Jed mentions the comfort than Hannah gives him…


This has been a common theme among the guys in their descriptions of Hannah, that she has a comforting aura to her. But what I appreciated about the above was Jed’s effort to be SPECIFIC. You’ve heard me go on and on about my desire for specificity before. Jed could just as easily have said “There’s just a comfort that comes from you.” In fact, that’s what 95% of folks on this show tend to leave it at—if they’re observant enough to even identify the feeling of comfort in the first place. I love that Jed could pinpoint feeling comforted by her voice and her touch, enough to even articulate it to her face. This may not seem like a huge deal but it’s incredibly rare for this show.


Because no Bachelorette season is complete without a sport-related Group Date involving some degree of violence, the men are made to play rugby. And in case there was any question as to whether or not this is a violent sport…


I laughed out loud at the above not only because of Connor S’ perfect expression of both incredulity and worry, but also because this speech is just SO overboard. I’m not denying the “gruesome” things that have taken place on that field, but the description just kept getting more and more extreme, to the point where even the other coach has to stifle his laughter.

You knew I’d have to capture the infamous Luke on Luke tackle (complete with Luke S’ own foreshadowing) so we can all analyze it together…


It’s embarrassing how many times I’ve watched this little clip. So, I see it as Luke S jogging back onto the field towards the other players and Luke P tackling more or less out of nowhere. He could have perceived it as Luke S running towards him but a tackle still feels like a strange response given it didn’t even seem like they were part of the game at that moment. However, my sister Andrea and her boyfriend felt, while Luke P is terrible and his tackle took things too far, that Luke S was indeed running towards Luke P in a confrontational manner. They also felt that, later, Luke S blows things out of proportion and, in general, plays up his innocence. I don’t exactly agree with this as I think Luke S legitimately felt physically threatened. (It’s proven later in the evening, when Mike literally laughs at Luke P’s claim that he’d needed to “defend” himself against Luke S—the gist being, Luke S is likely smaller or weaker in some way and therefore not a physical threat.) In other words, I’m pretty #TeamLukeS about it all, particularly since he’s been very drama-free thus far and the other guys universally sided with him. But by all means, let me know in the comments whether you saw things my way or the way Andrea and her boyfriend saw them.

That evening, during a Man Chat, we start to see why Luke P’s antics are so grating. It’s not so much the way he constantly seeks attention, but the fact that in doing so, attention is given to him. After all, the second he leaves the room, there’s zero chance a producer didn’t prompt the men to talk about him, continuously steering the conversation back if it started to trail away…


In other words, yes, Luke P is annoying. But in real life he’d be bearable. It’s the constant prompts to discuss him and his annoyingness that escalate things.

Take note of the seating arrangement here (and also how poor Kevin’s return is totally glossed over), particularly how Luke S is on the end of the right sofa, with Dustin to his left…

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The above was the seating arrangement shown as Luke P entered the room. But note how, as he begins to defend himself against the men, we now have Dylan to Luke S’ left…

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A reminder of just how long these conversations can go for.

Remember where Luke S is sitting above. Now note the men beginning to leave out of exasperation with Luke P; we can’t see him but I highly doubt Luke S was even in the room at this point (especially given what Luke P is saying about Luke S having “blocked” him.). Yet, in the next shot, Luke S is in not only in the room, but in Kevin’s former spot, across from Luke P, while Kevin has moved further down the sofa. Garrett and Kevin leaving is from a totally different moment. It’s possible they left out of aggravation with Luke P, but it wasn’t at the same time as the other guys…


My point in bringing this up is to drive home just how long these conversations went on for. I was at my wit’s end watching Luke P for five distilled minutes. Imagine attempting to reason with him for HOURS.

Finally, note the seating area as Garrett approaches Hannah for his 1-on-1 time…

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… yet how later, when they’re kissing, there’s an enormous rugby ball (?) on the table…


… making me think Garrett probably brought that ball as a conversation piece and they chatted about it. But we weren’t shown any of that, because of course, if any conversation doesn’t expressly revolve around their feelings for each other, we’re not going to see it. I added the arrow to point out what I perceive as Hannah practically recoiling from Garrett’s, um… interesting kissing technique.


Hannah’s in a rough place the morning of Tyler’s date, and I couldn’t help but notice the ruthless zoom-ins of her tears. As though we couldn’t see her tears perfectly fine from the first focal length….


I’ve mentioned before that, in my experience, I felt like a lab rat in the camera folks’ eyes. I remember looking at the face of a camerawoman who stalked me while I cried and wondering what she saw when she looked at me. I remember trying to make conversation with a few camera guys when traveling and feeling like my efforts were met with closed doors. Thus, it’s no surprise that I would deem the above clip .GIF-worthy.

I like Tyler a LOT. He’s got the game and flirtatious banter of a guy who doesn’t need overnight notoriety and Instagram followers to attract the opposite sex. I love that he’s handy (he’s a dying breed that way). I confess his Instagram made me like him a teensy bit less (I hadn’t realized he was a model and I never care for professional topless modeling shots) but given I base most of my opinions and writing on the show and not the contestants’ Instagram accounts, it’d be unfair to start now.

One thing that consistently stands out to me about Tyler is how he is fully able to make things about Hannah. He doesn’t seem to rely on talking about himself (or listening only to ultimately bring things back to himself), an affliction I feel affects many. In Episode 2, Hannah noted how “locked in” he was on her, something we all know when we experience it. In Episode 3, he emphasized Hannah’s strength and badass-ery, not selling his own (as many tend to, especially as early as Episode 3). This week, when Hannah expressed feeling pressure to be her “best”, he interrupted with a perfect…


One bit of intel that Kristin shared in last week’s comments: in a recent interview (therefore making this not a spoiler), Hannah revealed that she and Tyler did not get 1-on-1 time on Night One (at 18:39 in that video). First, I love when you guys sleuth for me and share pertinent info like this with me, so thank you! Second, this makes me see their relationship in a different light as I had assumed Tyler couldn’t “win” based on the fact that his Night One time wasn’t shown. Moving forward, it’ll be interesting to watch the two of them through this new lens; Tyler just may leap up a notch or two in my weekly frontrunner round-up.


At the Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party, the Luke vs Luke saga is unfortunately back to being the topic of conversation. Here, Luke P and his eyebrows return with a vengeance…


I groaned OUT LOUD (GOL’ed?) watching the above clip. I have to admit that, while agonizing to watch as a person, he is very entertaining. What fascinates me about him is how he doesn’t really cover his tracks. He just makes new lies when his current ones are discovered. It makes me very curious how he’ll defend himself at Men Tell All. With his every move (and lie) having been filmed and televised, what new stories will he spin?

Regardless, nothing sums up the “smoke” surrounding Luke P like Dylan’s simple but powerful …


As always, my frontrunners and initial takeaways based on this episode can be found over at Flare!




These are back from Episode 2. Hannah’s Gabriel & Co marquise silhouette earrings sell HERE.


Hannah’s Robyn Rhodes Marla earrings sell HERE.

Hannah’s Looks


As much as I appreciate a statement leather jacket, I found this one a bit much for a relaxed daytime date spent exploring a new city. I dug everything else about this look but felt the leather jacket would have better suited an evening occasion. Hannah’s Hudson Jeans colorblock studded leather biker jacket (in Navy and Black) sells HERE, but if you’re open to a brighter blue, it’s on sale HERE. There’s an excellent look-for-less selling HERE (I LOVE that it’s handmade). Her baby blue Naadam cashmere and wool ribbed sweater sells HERE, and there’s a look-for-less available HERE. Her Paige Hoxton skinny jeans (in Black Shadow) sell (on sale) HERE.


Hannah’s Frye Cameron booties sell (on sale) HERE. You may remember the brand Shalla Wista; Hannah wore many of their earrings last season. These ones sell HERE.


I loved this dress. The silhouette is timeless and oh-so-feminine. The pleating and pop of color keep things modern and fresh. Interestingly, I wouldn’t have minded that studded leather jacket over this dress (for the outdoors) as I think the dichotomy of femininity and toughness would have worked. I also think some sort of a high updo would have complemented this neckline better, but I’m aware I’m splitting hairs as this look was lovely. I Hannah’s ALC Renzo dress (in Orchid) is mostly sold out but there are a few sizes still available (and on sale!) HERE and HERE. There’s a great maxi length look-for-less in black and red selling HERE. Her Stuart Weitzman Nudist sandals (in Black Patent) sell (half price!) HERE. Her earrings are by Bachelorette fine jewelry standby The Woods but I couldn’t find even a photo of them, much less an online listing. The closest alternatives (and looks-for-less) I could find sell HERE, HERE, and HERE.


I know this may not be the popular opinion but I dug this suit. It’s unique, on-trend, and makes a statement. I can see people hating this but in my opinion it was Bachelorette-worthy—I’ll take our lead in a funky satin suit over another sequined mini dress any day. It was, however, an absolute CRIME for her hair not to have been back for this. The wow-factor! of that plunging neckline was totally ruined by her hair falling over her lapels; a powerful, slicked back ponytail would have been a stronger choice and would have better matched the edginess of this look. Hannah’s Cinq à Sept Kyle hammered satin blazer and pants sell HERE and (on sale) HERE, respectively. I struggled with a look-for-less for this suit, but in my search I found a pretty cool hybrid of this set and her black sequin blazer from last week, HERE and HERE. As with the above earrings, these turquoise ones are by The Woods but I couldn’t find anything about them online. The most similar ones I could find are also a major look-for-less, HERE. In my search I also found a cool ear jacket-like option, HERE.


Not much to dislike here. The sweater is cozy and activity-appropriate, and the pom pom hat is adorable on her. Loved this look. Hannah’s Club Monaco Esmeh sweater is sadly sold out (it won’t even pop up on the Club Monaco site anymore) but still appears to be available to EU/UK shoppers HERE. I did look for an alternative to this because so many of you requested it but I’m afraid I couldn’t find anything quite like it. (The closest I could find is THIS green and navy option.) Her LoveKnitz slouchy cashmere pom hat sells HERE. There’s a look-for-less with the same specs selling HERE and a chunky knit faux fur option HERE.


We didn’t see much of this look but I’m not crying over it. The dress is fine but I have a feeling translates better in person than on camera. It looked a bit blah and like something you might pick up at your local White House Black Market. (I’m not knocking WHBM, I’m just saying this dress isn’t pushing any fashion boundaries.) If you disagree, Hannah’s Cushnie cutout ribbed mini dress sells (on sale) HERE. I’m afraid I couldn’t find a look-for-less for this one but I confess I also didn’t look very hard. 🤷🏻‍♀️


DAYUM, this was a good look! Absolutely Rose Ceremony-worthy. The dress feels both classic and out-there at the same time. I sometimes find embellished straps a bit kitschy but I like how they tie in the waterfall detail of that slit. This gown is gorgeous. The best part? Her tousled low-do. I LOVE that we have a lead who isn’t afraid to wear her hair up! Hannah’s black gown is yet another Randi Rahm-er, the Allison gown. It would appear they altered the neckline for her. As with most Randi Rahm pieces, this isn’t available for purchase online and is a doozy for which to find a look-for-less. The closest I could find, considering with the embellished straps, sells HERE. In my search I found a mini dress option, HERE.

Best Dressed

This may be a controversial choice but I happened to like Mike’s Rose Ceremony ensemble…


Nothing stood out like crazy to me but this caught my eye. There are interesting choices here, namely the buttoned-up shirt sans tie, and the bold red pants. It came together in the right way for me and I appreciated the effort and overall execution. He looks dapper and, most importantly, confident.

Worst Dressed

Nothing offended me this week! No Worst Dressed. :)

Until next week, fellow pandas!