THANK YOU for the overwhelmingly enthusiastic response to our blog anniversary + Men Tell All viewing party! RSVPs are closed and everything is set—I can’t wait to meet and watch the show with you guys tonight! ❤️
“Forever shouldn’t be taken lightly.”
—Oh, Luke. Where would we be without your vast wisdom?
Fantasy Suite week brings us to Crete, Greece, and Peter is first up for an overnight. Hannah takes him for a sail, and I guess the whole affair is pretty mind-blowing because the number of OMGs (and OMG variations) that can be heard in a 10 second span is comical…
I have to imagine examples like the above are editors getting their kicks.
In the evening, Peter—I believe the last man holding out on an ILY?—finally says what’s expected of him. I enjoyed when Hannah (in her now-standard Hannah way) straight-up addressed how long it took for him to say it, which inadvertently pokes fun at the show’s strict (yet totally arbitrary) feelings timeline….
There was another good 4th wall moment when the two openly joked about where the Fantasy Suite card could have possibly come from…
Finally, I had to capture the following voiceover—just in case you mistook me for mature…
Heading into her spa date with Tyler, we get a voiceover of Hannah’s that immediately stood out to me…
… as it feels to me like this sort of thought (and likely subsequent caution) is more likely to work against Tyler rather than for him.
In the evening, after Hannah tells Tyler that she wants to use their Fantasy Suite time to connect mentally rather than physically, Tyler answers perfectly…
File away the above clip for later.
The following morning, Tyler says something that struck me as so very true…
I touched on this on The Morning After, but in my humble opinion, it is WAY harder to find someone with whom you can just talk endlessly than someone you want to have sex with. I appreciate that that’s what Tyler identified as love and it absolutely makes me take him and what he claims to feel for Hannah WAY more seriously.
Hannah meets Jed in Crete. A cat walks by as she’s describing the day to him, and this was something I had to capture for a cute tidbit about Andy. As you may know, we recently went on our own trip to Greece; in that blog post, there are several photos of Andy with random stray cats. Andy is a cat FANATIC (I didn’t know what it was for someone to be a cat person until I met him) and there is a zero percent chance he would have been able to resist following and possibly petting this kitty…
I know this is unrelated but I had to share because Andy and I were just there and him running in all directions chasing cats is still fresh in my memory. :)
There was a lot more to unpack with Jed’s date than I was expecting. I had anticipated Luke’s date as the big one to watch, but Jed’s was chock full of very interesting (and ripe for dissecting) conversation. First, I know I often take issue with a contestant using their time with the lead to talk about someone else, but Jed’s approach here was totally acceptable (and I would even say applaudable). Luke IS a terrifying romantic prospect—we all know that by now. It makes complete sense that, if you really did care for a person (whether or not romantically), you’d be deeply concerned about her potentially ending up with someone like him.
And remember, Jed at this point has not had to live with Luke for at least a week, possibly two. Luke’s most offensive and irritating moments—the moments Jed would have been most affected by—are in the past. And in the thick of those moments, Jed was one of the few men to have remained silent and not gotten involved in the drama. My point is, Jed has proven to possess the ability to keep his irritation to himself. To me, it stands out as genuine concern for Hannah’s well-being that Jed would finally broach the topic now. Sure, the catalyst to cause him to speak up (and anger him enough to speak up) was likely the fact that it was down to him and Luke at the last Rose Ceremony, but I personally believe this conversation came from a very sincere place.
The following mic-drop question had to be captured as a .GIF. I had the real treat of watching this episode in LA with two of my closest girlfriends (my two non-sister bridesmaids!) and we all shouted, “YES!!!!!” when Jed asked Hannah…
The thing is, Hannah’s no dummy. I’ve had my doubts for weeks now that she could see a legitimate future with Luke. However, at the same time she does seem to value some things disproportionately highly (one’s faith or Christianity) while disregarding any accompanying red flags. Up until this episode, it has seemed like she sees someone being as Christian as Luke is means he’s automatically a certain type of person, a good person. I cannot wait to hear Hannah talk about Luke on Men Tell All, to hear her hindsight thoughts on all this.
Even though it required several .GIFs, I wanted to capture the following exchange between Jed and Hannah because there were a lot of little things I felt were worth mentioning. First, I REALLY appreciate how Hannah converses. Watch her listen to and process Jed’s comment, a comment that could easily be taken as criticism. She doesn’t automatically retaliate or become defensive when criticized, something MANY people—especially young people—tend to do. She understands where he’s coming from and wants to know what the result is, how he feels based on this. She’s not making it about her; it’s not about her looking good but rather about how her actions affect him. Not only does this show an impressive level of curiosity and concern for others, but it shows how polar-opposite she is to Luke….
Jed’s response may not have answered the question, but it was his other mic-drop moment of the episode. I like the thinking that you can see happening in this conversation—they make each other think. Once again, Hannah deserves kudos for not becoming defensive or reactive to this—despite the fact that you can tell from her expression he might not be far off. She also deserves kudos for not being thrown off the scent. She doesn’t miss for a second that Jed didn’t answer the question, so she attempts to feed it to him…
… and this is where Jed, in my humble opinion, steps into too-far territory…
Language and specificity in these situations is SO important. I’m pretty sure what Jed meant was that Hannah’s insistence on keeping Luke makes him (understandably) second-guess what he thinks he knows about her, and that (naturally) causes him to pull back emotionally and tread with more caution. But that’s very different than using the word “retract” when talking about feelings that have already been expressed—he’s basically saying her keeping Luke around has caused him to withdraw his feelings for her. That sounds more like a subtle threat, like an “it’s him or it’s me” argument. It’s just ironic to me how, in his attempted takedown of manipulative Luke, Jed ends up sounding a bit manipulative himself. Obviously this is a far more mild and subtle case, and Jed was very quick to RETRACT these words. But yeah… in a sea of very solid arguments and statements, and Jed clearly being a thinker who can challenge Hannah (something I do appreciate), this stood out to me as going one step too far.
Eyebrow Watch™ continues as Luke tells Hannah just how thankful he is to be with her in Santorini. I JUST CAN’T anymore with the over-emoting of these eyebrows. The thing is, I feel like he probably is thankful and he certainly has good reason to be, but I’ll be damned if I don’t consider everything he says BS based on those brows…
In the evening, FINALLY, we get the big scene that’s been teased for weeks. It pains me to dissect this any more than I already have. I am so over Luke, you guys. Though I have plenty here, I don’t want to make any more .GIFs of him (I seriously hope I’m nearing the end of my Luke .GIF-making days) or analyze why what he says and does is wrong. I want this guy off my television screen.
I am a very live-and-let-live person and legitimately can’t understand people like him: People who righteously think they’re somehow righting the world’s wrongs, who—in the name of their God—think it’s their place to assert their beliefs on others. People who, in bringing things back to language and specificity, can’t leave their goals and beliefs at what THEY want or what THEY see as right, but declare them to be the way things are “supposed” to be…
I’m over the delusion, the gaslighting that feeds that delusion, the dodging of responsibility, the turning around the blame…
I’m over watching a person who doesn’t know how NOT to contradict himself (and doesn’t possess the self awareness to even know to try)…
I’m over the intense JUDGMENT, the sense of superiority, the Holier Than Thou entitlement, pretending to be accepting and to seek out a solution but using even that as a way to paint himself a saint…
I’m over the sheer idiocy…
I’m sorry, but this man is just not intelligent. First of all, he can’t read social situations. His above so-called “confidence” is based on his assumptions, not his gathering and processing of intel. Second, if he were so “confident”, he wouldn’t need to follow the above sentence with “I just want to hear it from your mouth”—that is his insecurity talking, the very opposite of confidence. Third, I cannot stand when people mix up beliefs and morals. In what world is choosing to have sex—something you do with your body—not morally sound? It is FAR more amoral to judge others for what they do with their bodies.
Some of the most devout people out there justify awful behavior in the name of religion. Meanwhile, plenty of people with zero faith or spirituality are often deeply good, moral people. Morality is (and should be) shaped by one’s upbringing and values based on that. I would actually argue that it’s terrifying to consider that morality would be predominantly defined by religious beliefs—that just means the fear of God and the desire for reward (aka my rant about Heaven two weeks ago) cause someone to be “good”, not because they just know right and wrong and possess a conscience. Again, as I’ve said all season: I have no issue with anyone having their own beliefs, and for those beliefs to shape how they view or engage in sex. But those beliefs and morality are not the same thing.
I’m over a man that behaves like a petulant boy when he doesn’t get his way. Just watch him grasp at straws, at counterarguments to hurl back at her. And even more scary: watch him convince himself of them. You can SEE the moment where he thinks of his argument and convinces himself he is the victim in this scenario…
It’s honestly scary—this is the kind of personality that has the potential to commit horrible crimes because he convinces himself he’s doing them for good, or claims he had no choice and was forced into it. This is a person who constantly creates new realities for himself.
Above all, and the real clincher: I’m over a man who claims to care for and love a woman, yet has zero respect or curiosity for who she is as a person. Note how he never seems to ask Hannah any questions—he wasn’t even interested in hearing out her beliefs involving sex before or after marriage. Note how him “opening up” to her is always him telling her how she should behave, not revealing any real flaws or vulnerabilities of his own. Note how he completely—and routinely—disregards her feelings, her opinions, her desires…
These are all disturbing signs of what an emotionally abusive partner looks like. Compare this .GIF to Tyler’s above, the one I said to file away for later. On one hand, we have a person—a person who doesn’t know diddly-shit about Hannah’s thoughts/opinions because he has zero curiosity in her or others—who has the gall to tell her those very opinions/feelings are “wrong”. Compare him to Tyler, who speaks of loving, honoring, and respecting each other’s boundaries. Exhibit A = boy. Exhibit B = man.
Finally, I’ll close with an excellent Word Watch: “He says he loves me and it’s like, no you don’t if it’s so contingent on if I fit into what is morally acceptable for your wife to be. It’s like f— you dude.” 👏🏼👏🏼
As always, my initial takeaways and frontrunners based on this episode can be found over at Flare.
Hannah’s Flora Nikrooz Sleepwear “Othela” charmeuse chemise sells (on sale!) HERE.
Hannah’s Cushnie cowl neck halter dress sells HERE and HERE. Since it’s very pricey, I hunted down a fantastic look-for-less HERE—it would be very easy to turn this into a halter/backless situation at the tailor’s… trust me, I know these things :) In my search I also found a pretty red option, HERE.
I like the individual pieces here but I’m not a fan of how they come together. IMO this ensemble it trying too hard. It feels like, in its effort to be unexpected and cool, it has ended up looking mostly hodgepodge-y. I would have preferred these clothes with a bootie, not neon heeled sandals. Hannah’s L’Agence “Ollie” silk print bomber jacket is sadly sold out (HERE). If you love the print, it’s still available as a pair of jeans HERE. The best alternatives I could find for Hannah’s bomber sell HERE and HERE. You’ve seen Hannah’s Schutz “Yvi” twisted leather strappy sandal (in Neon Pink) several times already—they sell HERE and HERE.
I like but don’t love this. First of all, this is pink coat #7. (I actually like the coat but am at this point overexposed to pink coats.) Second, while this is a perfectly nice dress with a hefty price tag, it just doesn’t read expensive. It looks a bit cheap, honestly. I like her hair and the overall femininity of this look, but it’s not really elevated enough to get me excited. Hannah’s Zara suede look coat is sold out on the website but is still available HERE. Her AREA cotton-blend lamé slip dress is sold out and the Barney’s listing no longer exists—there are alternatives (and definitely looks-for-less) HERE and HERE. Her Anuja Tolia “Flash Dance” necklace sells HERE. Finally, since the price of her Suzanne Kalan “Fireworks” baguette diamond hoops (HERE) isn’t for the faint of heart, I found some looks-for-less, HERE and HERE.
I like this. I’m not so excited that I’m coveting anything here but it still feels easy, comfortable, and practical. Hannah’s Blue Life “Femi” top sells HERE. Her Hudson “Gemma” denim shorts sell HERE—the exact same model is on sale in a different wash HERE. Her Naturalizer “Avril” ankle strap sandals sell (on sale!) HERE and HERE. Her Robyn Rhodes “Sunny” necklace sells HERE. Her Anuja Tolia “Star Drop” threader earrings sell HERE.
Not a fan. I do like metallics but not as a dress with a bat sleeve, ruching, a wrap detail, PLUS a five layer necklace on top. It’s just too much. A simple metallic sheath would have been more elegant, in my opinion, and that would have complemented (rather than competed with) the jewelry. Hannah’s Alice + Olivia “Pace” batwing-sleeve draped dress (in Silver) sells (SUPER on sale!) HERE. (If you’re a size 10, you can grab it for an even better deal HERE.) Her Dilamani Swiss blue topaz and diamond earrings sell HERE—there are good looks-for-less HERE and HERE.
It’s no surprise that I like this a lot. It’s not trying too hard in the slightest, it’s timeless, it’s simple yet with interest. I love the classic femininity but how the floral print is oversized, keeping things modern. Hannah’s Ganni floral midi skirt sells (on sale!) HERE. The same print comes in a wrap skirt option for a way better price, HERE (and don’t miss the extra 20% off). Her Joie “Yeira” cap sleeve top (in Lavender Rose) sells HERE and (on sale but sizes are limited) HERE. Her Dune “Merry Di” cross strap sandals (in Mink) sell HERE, while her Robyn Rhodes “Palmer” earrings sell HERE.
While I don’t love the styling here, I do like a lot about this look. The dress is fabulous—sexy, slightly lingerie-esque, classic. But I would have preferred a longer, subtler necklace with this neckline (or no necklace at all), and simpler makeup overall. I find a heavy smoky eye with dark lips on a negligee-like dress too much. But of course, she does look gorgeous. Hannah’s Cushnie asymmetric lace-trimed silk satin dress sells (on sale) HERE. If you’re a size 10, you’re in luck as it’s deeply discounted HERE. There’s a decent look-for-less in a dark green and minus the lace HERE. Her Stuart Weitzman Nudist sandals (in Black Suede and Crystal - not pictured) sell (on sale!) HERE. Her The Woods rough cut diamond lariat necklace isn’t available online but there’s a similar one without the lariat detail HERE. The best look-for-less I was able to find sells HERE.
THIS is my winning look of the week. It’s edgy, a bit unexpected, and sexy without feeling effortful. Note how the exposed skin up top is balanced by the covered-up-ness pants. I also want that necklace. Hannah’s Selkie “Twisted T” top sells HERE. Her Sancia “Lida” pants (in Bonneau) sell HERE. Her Tory Burch “Mini Miller” flat sandals (in Black) sell HERE. Her pave diamond and opal necklace is by Shalla Wista and sells HERE. Her Robyn Rhodes “Poitier” ring (not pictured) sells HERE. Finally, her Brevani triangle diamond ear jackets sell HERE—there are excellent looks-for-less HERE and HERE.
Aaannnd this is my least favorite look of the week. It probably comes as no surprise that I find this way over the top. The skirt is a statement piece and the jacket is a statement piece. Together, and especially with massive bedazzled earrings, things become very tacky very quickly. Don’t get me wrong: I love the neon jacket. I love leopard print anything. I’ve been vibing big hoops lately. I would totally wear everything here, but SEPARATELY. Hannah’s Iro “Ashville” leather jacket (in Light Orange) sells (SUPER on sale) HERE. Her Veronica Beard “Ari” leopard print skirt sells HERE—there are fantastic looks-for-less HERE and HERE. Her Bardot “Essie” lace bodysuit sells (also super on sale!) HERE—at that no-brainer price, I’ve picked one up for myself. Her diamond hoops are by Charlie Lapson but I couldn’t find them online—my looks-for-less for these are the same as her evening outfit from Peter’s overnight date: HERE and HERE.
This recap was too much of a beast for me to even notice what the men were wearing. No Best or Worst Dressed this week!
Until next week, fellow pandas!