Episode 3

Daniel: "Let’s just pretend you’re Hitler. If I’m friends with you—”

Chad: “Let’s not pretend I’m Hitler.”

Daniel: “Let’s just say, let’s just say—”

Chad: “Let’s not say that.”

Daniel: “Okay, well let’s say you’re Donald Trump.”

I love the contrast between the ultra-masculinity of this grunt-ridden activity and Daniel's, um, form... (Is that what it is?) 

This .gif will never get old.

 

CHASE'S 1-ON-1

I'll be the first to admit Chase wasn't really on my radar. I mean, he's obviously good-looking, but he's mostly come off a bit stoic (which isn't at all a bad thing in my books, but it doesn't always translate well on this show; I would know, because I think I too came off stoic) and his ITMs are rarely used for commentary. HOWEVER:

That kiss, you guys. It's not often I make a .gif of a close-up of a kiss (it feels a little weird) but this one was HOT. And one of the reasons I think it was surprising and therefore hot is because of Chase's aforementioned stoicism. If he'd shown up Night One already half in love and coming on strong, the above would've been just another first kiss on The Bachelorette.

 

GROUP DATE

I thought this Group Date activity was hilarious. I thoroughly enjoyed Grant and Jordan's awestruck stares...

 Not a blink in sight.

Not a blink in sight.

There are MANY Group Date activities I feel palpable relief to have not had to participate in—the ones that come to mind immediately are Farmer Chris' bikini-clad tractor race, Chris' (or Kaitlyn's) writing a song (or rap) and having to performing it, and of course Andi's stripping date—but believe it or not I could have totally done this one. (In case you're curious, other Group Date experiences I would have loved to have had are Farmer Chris' zombie paintball, Emily Maynard's "Highland Games" in Croatia, Desiree's dodgeball competition, and Ashley Hebert's repainting of an orphanage in Phuket. And the Group Date activity I got to experience which I would never trade for anything is our Group Date in Vietnam.)

Daniel is the gift that keeps on giving. I loved when producer Todd Snyder asked the following...

... and you could see Daniel put real thought and consideration into his answer. Priceless.

We didn't get enough of Vinny's story but he took off his shirt in the process and showed exactly what the mic situation looks like...

... and I was deeply annoyed so much time was spent on Evan vs Chad, keeping us from seeing any of this story:

WHAT HYSTERICAL THREESOME STORY?? We want to hear it! 😡

***UPDATE 06.12.16: You can hear his "threesome" story here

There was a good example of how close the cameras hover around you (and how they quickly they move to get out of the shot) when Chad was whistling around the corner from Nick B's 1-on-1 time...

 Notice how capturing Chad became this camera's responsibility.

Notice how capturing Chad became this camera's responsibility.

Okay, so about what Evan did (since I skimmed over this in my Flare recap). Make no mistake, I have a ton of respect for Evan's "cautionary steroids tale". It showed chutzpah in a situation where he felt bullied and was a solid revenge strategy. After all, Chad can't retaliate (in the only way he knows, anyway) without proving Evan right. And I know I've said this before, but I love how simply expressive and honest Evan is. The following is one of many examples:

I appreciate how he doesn't downplay his stress. It's endearing. Not all men (on this show) are capable of this. 

HOWEVER. I don't agree with the ultimatum. I understand he was afraid and sick of walking on eggshells, but it's not like he didn't poke the "Chad bear". Chad is volatile and violent enough even without being attacked in a public setting, so Evan knew full well what bed he was making with that move. He can’t have been surprised that he’d have consequences to face afterwards. 

Anyhow, it all works out for Evan because he gets the Group Date rose (notice how quickly he rescinds his ultimatum) and what follows is an epic series of confused/surprised/judgmental facial expressions from Chad as Jojo delivers her requisite "It's so hard and I appreciate all of you" speech...

I have to admit, while he's supremely disrespectful, he is fantastic TV. I was laughing pretty hard during the above, and I don't think Andy has ever found a contestant on this show so amusing (which makes roping him into watching with me easier).

On the way home after the Group Date, the shot the following cracked me up...

 Does your head hang low?

Does your head hang low?

I've done that ride before and it's very funny to me how the dates start with champagne toasts and limousine rides and, well over 12 hours later, it's water bottles and an unglamorous sardine can of a bus ride home.

 

JAMES TAYLOR'S 1-ON-1

This was a very cute date but I confess I was mostly distracted by how badly I wanted Jojo's dress. After all the dancing, James Taylor's (impressive) serenading, and their subsequent make out, he said...

... which lines up perfectly (so you know I had to include it 😁 ) with what I've said before about how singled-out contestants possibly confuse loving the feeling of specialness for a genuine love for the lead. Of course, I'm not saying James Taylor doesn't/didn't legitimately fall in love with Jojo, but it certainly doesn't hurt when the lead in question has the power to gift you with confidence.

 

ROSE CEREMONY POOL PARTY

Chris Harrison materializes to inform the men that "Jojo has decided" (riiiiiiight) that a pool party will replace this week's Rose Ceremony. Gee, that's never happened before.

Daniel, for all his Hitler/Trump and poo hilarity, seems to have the ability to make an incredibly astute comment now again...

Couldn't have explained it better myself. 👏🏼

As always, my Top 4 predictions as well as overall thoughts on this episode can be found in my Flare recap.

 

BEST DRESSED

It was a week of casual wear and nothing really stood out this week. No Best Dressed!

 

WORST DRESSED

Bless Daniel's Canadian heart...

This vest/T-shirt combo is so bad that I almost respect it. But I'm afraid there is no man, even the modeliest of male models, who can pull off a knit hoodie vest. Daniel, it's not you. It's the vest.

 

JOJO'S LOOKS

For the daytime of her 1-on-1 with Chase and the Group Date Jojo wore very similar outfits...

It's impossible to not like either of these. Both outfits are effortlessly stylish and comfy-looking. Jojo's plaid shirt is by Paige and sells HERE. Jojo's Joie blouse is sold out (HERE) but there's a super similar one HERE. Her pants are by AG and sell HERE, and her booties are by Ash and sell HERE

For the evening of the Group Date...

This is one of those outfits I admire but would never wear myself. I like emblished/beaded pieces from afar but I always worry about them when I wear them. They're just not practical. This is The Bachelorette, however, so who cares about practicalness? She looks edgy and cool. Could I have done with a... (you know what's coming)... ponytail? Yes. But I digress. Jojo's embellished skirt is by Alice & Olivia and sells HERE. (Also, there's a solid gold sequin one by the same brand on TheRealReal for only $45 HERE.) Her turtleneck tank is by Elizabeth & James and sells HERE and (on sale!) HERE. Her Trouvé leather jacket sells HERE. Her (amazing) Topshop heels sell HERE.

Now for Episode 3's crown jewel...

This was easily my favorite look of the episode. I love how she looks both dated and current all at once. That dress is EVERYTHING. The fit and flare, the high-low, how the fabric has substance.... I WANT. Tragically, Jojo's exact Alexis dress is completely sold out (HERE). However, there's a Tradesy listing of the same dress in solid black HERE and an eBay listing in coral HERE. Her tassel earrings are by The Woods but there are more attainable options above.

For the evening portion of James Taylor's 1-on-1...

Easy and comfortable yet sophisticated. You'd have to be crazy not to like this look. Jojo's cashmere sweater is by Frame and sells HERE and her AG jeans sell HERE. Her AMI Club Wear plaid coat sells HERE and her Calvin Klein over-the-knee boots sell HERE. Her The Woods necklace isn't available but I've linked to some similar-ish ones above.

 

Until next week, fellow pandas!