Episode 7

“I’m not going to let girls bring me down while I’m literally trying to win over my fiancé.” —Corinne

 

 

PSYCHE? NICK'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE

Surprising nobody, Nick returns to tell the women that he isn't, in fact, leaving them in the lurch. I have to wonder what the goal with this "cliffhanger" was. Was anyone really expected to believe that he'd be walking out? Beyond the contractual obligation, the argument (that he was afraid of relationships he was excited about "falling flat" à la Danielle L) was seriously half baked. If we were in Final 3 or so, maaaayybe you could argue that's a legitimate fear, but it's impossible he got so invested in Danielle L so early on (Week 4, based on her 1-on-1) to feel this supposed level of distress. HALF BAKED, I SAY.

I laughed when, upon seeing Nick, Corinne quickly went into hair adjustment mode...

 We've all been there.

We've all been there.

And to further solidify the half-bakedness of Nick's "I can't take this anymore" storyline, he confirms that his remaining—not 2, not 3, but 6 WOMEN—all have stronger connections with him than Danielle L did. Sounds like he's doing alright...

And, as an aside, clips like the above are reminders that I haven't gone entirely insane watching this show, as to me it still sticks out as SUPER weird that he's saying what he's saying to a group of 6 women. Like, he talks about the "strength in this room" as something so powerful and meaningful, yet, um... there are still 6 of them. I speak from my experience when I say I never found professions like this meaningful in any way because I was just one of however many girls were left.

 

BIMINI

In Bimini, despite Corinne still not having had a 1-on-1, the first 1-on-1 date card turns out to be for Vanessa. Note the confused/grumpy expression Rachel makes, and then the head-in-hand position she has in anticipation of the card reading AND after (along with a smile). Methinks confused/grumpy Rachel was edited in for effect...

The lesson here is, if you ever go on this show, never make any questionable facial expressions EVER.

 

VANESSA'S 1-ON-1

In requisite Episode 7 form, the first 1-on-1 is spent on a yacht (I would know). I was amused how we were given a Vanessa voiceover while the camera panned in on the yacht, but seeing as how Vanessa's lovely bum is in the air, it's clearly from an entirely different (and gauging by that embrace, a much sweeter) moment...

I mentioned this in my The Morning After video, but I swear watching Vanessa and Nick together puts me in a good mood. There is something about how unabashedly confident she is in them and how 100% engaged he is when he's with her that makes them really convincing as a couple and thus enjoyable to watch. My favorite moment was when she talked about it just being easy...

I could not agree more with this. In fact, I was talking to a friend just last week about her (very rocky) relationship and I said (gingerly), "It's not supposed to be this difficult." As someone who's been in both difficult relationships and easy relationships, I really am a believer that the basics—the everyday seeing eye-to-eye, not having to tiptoe around ego and jealousy minefields, and seeing the humor in the same small things—should be easy. There is way too much tough shit out there that you'll have to face as a couple to find simply being with each other tough.

Now, there was that "I'm falling in love with you" moment. I understand there's been some lighthearted digs surrounding Nick's reaction to Vanessa's use of the L-word. I don't usually reference that stuff, but I have such a strong opinion on the topic that I can't keep my mouth shut. :) Olivia's a friend and I like her very much, but I don't agree with her at all here (and you know I'm not being biased because I disagree with Nick all the time!). I for one didn't see Nick's reaction to Vanessa's ILY as "freaked out" at all. I saw it as him being deeply moved and then (perhaps overly) explanatory as to why he couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't reciprocate quite yet. As much as I appreciated his (excellent) explanation, his only stumble was actually attempting to explain.  I touched on this in my The Morning After video, but in my eyes, a knowing look and passionate kiss would have sufficed as a response since by now no contestant actually expects a response until the very end, especially when there are still 5 other ladies in the mix. As I see it, Vanessa would have felt less hurt had she assumed Nick just couldn't say anything, rather than being told he could but was choosing not to. As so often is the case, less would've been more here.

 

GROUP DATE

The Group Date involves swimming with sharks but I'm skipping right to the evening since that's where the interesting bits are. First, I know I said this in my The Morning After video but I loved loved LOVED this moment with Kristina so much that I had to make a .GIF of it...

The way Kristina looks at him... it's a combination of affection and tough love. This girl comes off as insanely mature for her 24 years. I'm a fan.

OH! And that precious moment where Nick nuzzles her after this chat...

Seriously, after this particularly intimate moment, I had Kristina pegged as THE dark horse of the season and figured she'd be Top 2 or 3. I can see how she'd feel upset to have gone home this very same week.

There was a hilarious camera work moment that I'm sure many of you knew I'd have to make a .GIF of...

I can't help but watch these and imagine the man/woman behind the camera. Like, are they sadistically giggling to themselves, or is it just a job where they know what shots will be the most useful and emotionally they feel nothing (good or bad) when they zoom in on those two miserable girls? Both scenarios are equally amusing in my mind, but my money's on the latter.

I TOTALLY called this in Episode 5...

This ITM (which, again, aired two weeks ago during an entirely different Group Date where Raven didn't even get the rose)...

... was clearly from this week. Sure, this may seem irrelevant, but again, I point these things out to show how freely the editors put contestants' words in completely different moments and contexts. Two weeks in Bachelor world is like 2 months in real life and can make all the difference in what a contestant says or how she behaves. This liberal copy-and-pasting can make zero difference in how a contestant is perceived (like here), but it can also lend towards someone coming off like a delusional nut job. THE POWER OF EDITING. 👊🏽

The Group Date closes with Nick and Raven making out to the crooning of Adam Friedman (whose music, by the way, I LOVED and have already sought out on Spotify) and I laughed when the scene morphed into a preview for after the break and Nick's kissing someone completely different...

 Oh,  The Bachelor . Never change.

Oh, The Bachelor. Never change.

 

DANIELLE'S 1-ON-1

Sweet Danielle M! I stopped seeing much chemistry between these two before this week but it's always a little sad to see a contestant you like (and who evidently all the other women liked) go home, especially tearfully.

There's not much to say about this date because, frankly, not much happened. The conversations felt stilted and dry; I'm not sure if it was edited this way just to support Nick eventually axing Danielle M, but either way nothing much surprised me here.

There was a textbook lead Pick-up with Nick coming out and saying the "right" thing to do would be to say goodbye to Danielle...

Don't believe me that the above's a Pick-up? Compare his hair to an ITM from him talking about Corinne's attempted seduction later that night...

nickpickup.jpg

I wouldn't be surprised if the above Pick-up wasn't from weeks or even months later. The key phrase for this narrative was "I know the right thing to do is to say goodbye to Danielle", and gosh darn it, they got it.

Lastly, (and I know nobody missed this!) a .GIF just HAD to be made of Corinne inexplicably yet determinedly (perhaps drunkenly?) avoiding Nick's hotel's automatic sliding doors... 

 I googled it and apparently this is an actual phobia.

I googled it and apparently this is an actual phobia.

 

RACHEL'S 1-ON-1

I always enjoy the little moments that show Nick's true personality while simultaneously cracking that 4th wall, and this moment was one of those...

 This got a true LOL out of me.

This got a true LOL out of me.

In my humble opinion, it's quips like this that make Nick different from any Bachelor before him. He, THE BACHELOR HIMSELF, referencing what he's meant to do but in a semi-sarcastic, semi-critical way, is crazy meta and I for one love it.

As for Rachel, I loved how much she loved a date of not even really doing anything and I could totally relate...

Helicopter rides and bungee jumping are nice, but a date where the only entertainment is the conversation is the best. As I said over on Flare, I'm thrilled Rachel's the Bachelorette but part of me wishes I'd been kept in the dark for a tad bit longer, if only for the suspense, since after this date I really could picture these two together.

 

NICK BOOTS KRISTINA

I also mentioned this in my The Morning After video, but this moment required a .GIF as well...

... and NOT because I think Nick indeed didn't give Kristina a fair chance. I've said it a million times now, but the women Nick wants to keep he will keep and give plenty of fair chances to. What I loved about this is that instead of just nodding and tearfully packing her bags, Kristina actually came out and said this, and it's another 4th wall breaker. Kristina didn't get her first 1-on-1 until just last week; she would have had to make up some serious ground to catch up to the likes of Vanessa and Rachel. This just goes to show that this experience truly isn't equal for all. As Danielle M said last week, a relationship can only develop when you spend time together, but the truth is that in the structured cookie cutter environment of The Bachelor, there is only so much time to go around. I'll miss Kristina and her heavy hitting one-liners.

 

As always, my Top (now only 3) frontrunners can be found over on my Flare recap!

 

BEST DRESSED

Any episode where we don't get a single Rose Ceremony is a bit sad for the fashion section. I'll start with Rachel's Bachelorette announcement dress on Kimmel because it was OH SO AMAZING...

This is no boring LBD. It's sexy yet avant-garde, plus it looks expensive. So, the good news is Rachel's Cushnie et Ochs dress is current and still available. The bad news is that it looks expensive because it is expensive: This LBD'll set you back $1400 (the luxury Bachelorette treatment has officially begun). If that doesn't deter you, it sells HERE in black and HERE in pale pink. It was hard to find an exact look-for-less since this is such a specific style, but if you're willing to get creative (and this is the sort of thing I'd do), THIS dress with a cut out added (by you or your tailor) would end up VERY similar. If that's too complicated for you, my favorite asymmetrical cut out dresses I found during my search are on the carousel below...

One of you requested Rachel's split front maxi skirt...

I couldn't find Rachel's exact skirt but there's a near-identical one selling HERE. (Also, since a few of you have mentioned liking my "during my search" finds, during this search I came across a two-piece split-front dress—in a print—that I'm eyeing, HERE.)

First Honorable Mention goes to Danielle with her ombré cardigan...

Danielle has a real talent with casual yet unique clothes. Her wardrobe seems very much comprised of basics yet, like with this cardigan, I haven't seen anything quite like most of her pieces before. There's a very similar cardigan to Danielle's (I'm eyeing the pewter/black combo for myself since 4.7/5 stars with 829 reviews can't be wrong) selling HERE.

Second Honorable Mention also goes to Danielle with her 1-on-1 romper...

Could anyone not like this? It's a great color, has cool details like the draped shorts and lace sleeves, and just looks so wearable. Danielle's Nasty Gal romper is sadly sold out (HERE) but Nasty Gal is known to bring back popular items if you sign up on the wishlist. In the meantime there is a very similar romper selling (for only $15!) HERE. There's also a near-identical lariat necklace to Danielle's selling HERE.

Runner-up for a second week in a row is Kristina with her Group Date romper...

Another incredibly wearable piece that can be dressed up. She looks put-together and effortless, and I love how, as with Danielle's romper, the leg exposure is balanced by the covered-up arms. I found myself completely obsessed with this necklace—it's dainty yet, all together as one piece, bold—and am lusting after it big time. Kristina's ASTR romper is sadly sold out (HERE) but there are a few available on Poshmark: XS (HERE and HERE), S (HERE), and L (HERE) Her necklace is from Banana Republic and while I could not find it online anywhere (and believe me, I looked), there's a SUPER similar one by Stella & Dot selling HERE

Best Dressed this week is none other than Vanessa in her slinky 1-on-1 number...

Her body looked UNREAL in this dress and I like that though it's obviously super sexy it's really not that revealing. I love how the knot effect in the front has an actual story (it ties in the dress' four corners and gives that draped slit) instead of just being for show, as knot details so often are. Also, the color (grey/green/taupe?) is perfection. I may or may not have totally copied her and picked one up for myself. 🙊  Vanessa's Boohoo dress is not only still available (yay!), it's $21 (!!) and sells HERE. (You're welcome.)

 

WORST DRESSED

Nick's fashion has been very on point this season so I feel a bit bad pouncing on this one mishap, but I was not feeling this hoodie... 

My biggest issue with it is that it's just way too casual for dinner (on The Bachelor!) and if the reason for something this casual was the balmy Bimini weather, a simple tee (which he wears really well) would have been a better choice. I don't care how jazzed up with stripes and contrast a hoodie is, a hoodie's still a hoodie. A rare miss.

 

Until next week, fellow pandas!